sik..asik..asik..asik..sik ..asik...asik...asik..sik..asik..asik asik asik (harapan jaya)
a brand new day... a sweeter day...
dreaming again about hope..
about you..
hope is dream
dream is hope
..i'm not dreamless..that mean i'm not hopeless

the itch ... the itch..the itch...the morning itch

just hoping o'boy
keep dreaming.....
far beyond your horizon of logical things
those exact ..have vanish in the moon shade

the vomit..the permit... the junkiest networking
the lacking .. keep fading..
God love us...

sik asik asik asik asik ...sik asik asik asik asik..sik sik asik (harapan jaya)

well ..after morning bath.. i would take a bit of rest again...
when i woke up later on ... the shade will gray
sprung another mutual pray
nothing to fear.. nothing the hear

I'm on your left wing ..right wing
broken wing
lack of iron and/or sleeping
not on my side..its all my luck

another house dreamer blues
hoping ... keeping...telling
the ladies s awaken.. by one voice only
her thought hasnot been seted yet
..she will arise ..I'll sinking in..
I'm not the storm king

let's walk out on the wire once again..
as i set my self on fire...
no angel dies this morning
only doped knight ... falls down the critter
I'm not overly concerned

Let's overwhelmed
keep on hoping o'boy..
the syntac is clear..argument been made
the boredom not a permanent solution
she'll regret

3:00 .. humm
i've promise someone not to stay awake
I'm going to sleep..
Hope to see you tomorow...

maaf sayang, malam ini aku egois

tahun 92,Nirvana...smell like teen spirit
93 pearl jam dengan Ten..
2001 ..ipey dengan egois..
I'm turning into something I'm not !!
the fear dry up my blood..
and makes me collapes

malam ini Bandung membatu
tak ada senyum dan tak ada tangis
tak ada angin dan tak ada hujan
dan lagu-lagu membisu menghantui malam

malam ini Bandung membatu
tawanya yang selalu membuat hati tergetar
hilang ditelan hati yang gundah
lalu aku terus berharap dalam angan

malam ini Bandung membatu
menagih ucapan-ucapan yang pernah kita lontarkan
dan ketika suatu saat kau pernah berkata,,"ingatkan aku jika aku lalai mencintai mu.."
haruskah aku mengatakannya itu ?
dan ketika terucap kata.."bantu aku untuk menuju yang terbaik.."
sudahkah kita mencoba yang terbaik ?
dan salahkah aku jika mulai ragu...

malam ini Bandung membatu
membekukan hatiku dalam lautan sakit
menelanku dalam gundah
meniti tiap detik memandang bulan
menggugah beberapa satir
dan membuka catatan lama
lalu Bandung menyaksikan ku terduduk lama sendiri
padahal hatiku selalu tak sendiri

dan Bandung menutup matanya
mengubur keinginanku untuk bertemu malam ini
dan ketika air mata kota ini menyapu kegetiran
aku terhentak ...selamat malam kekasih, nyenyakanlah tidur mu

We're Only Love
-----------------------------

who built the ball that is this earth?
gave me life, and water for my thirst.
home for a heart till death from birth
and we're only love, at it's best or worst.

love calling your name
I will live on
calling your name

who wrote the pages of our lives?
in black and white, and taught me wrong from right
it's your heart that held you tight
but we're only love
spin me around and round and round

and the world seems like my enemy
the waterfall of frowns
and the wave of life will capture me
and I'm falling down upon love

c'mon now darling
I'm falling falling down on love

it's been a good year for the roses
many blooms still linger there.
the lawn could stand another mowing
it's funny, I don't even care
...but as you turned and walked away
as the door behind you closes
the only thing I thought to say
was what a good year for the roses

*18-07-2001

I was born in desert mountain in a higher level of ground
Get my self a better eduacation and play with the same game as everyone else
23 years of roaming and searching from true self
And in between the lies and pain I sneeze like hell

The television teach me more than a true experience
And I hit the atmosphere with my winged shoulder
All the heat I felt passed away in the light of sun that I reaching
All the flower in bloom descending and fed me with pure breath

And watching those eyes glittering while I'm smilling makes me cry three times a day
While the shadow that come blisstering thru
Possing quitly ,it looks a lot like Me
Have the wind change the direction ?

I haven't heard a single tears since I arive
Many blue painted my day
And the night tatooed black while the moment singing a midnite lullaby
This shallow communication take me high above the hardest theory
You're the plato and I'm your Socrates
Funny I don't give up in this bitter pills

And those creep that bangs my hate
So many things I never said
All the things I wish I've said
About love , about bitter dream
And it's been a good year for the roses

*18-07-2001

...and you watch the sky receding
and you spin to see the traffic
rising up and it's so quiet
and you're surprised and then you wake..

for all the things I'm losing
I might as well resign myself to try and make a change
and I'm going down to Hollywood
they're gonna make a movie from the things
that they find crawling round my brain

and one of these dreams
You forgive me
..It makes me think of the bad decisions
that keep you at home
how could anyone else have changed
but these are wrong conclusions
that leave you alone
how could everyone rearrange
how could everyone else have changed
what I see
I believe

*19-07-2001

Love and Addiction
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Put on your bad self
Get out your party dress
And fix up your makeup
Try to make a good impression

This is a new world
We're all the same here
Well, maybe not the same
But you know what I mean

I've got everything that you want
I've got everything and
Someday I'll be president
And I've got everything that you want
I've got everything
Except the single thing you really need

Separate love from addiction
It's not the same
I know I see desperation pulling my strings

Hey, Ferry,now what do you want?
I play guitar, and I sing like a hummingbird
And, oh, I forgot that
Hummingbirds don't sing
It doesn't matter really
You know what I mean

I've got everything that you want
I've got everything
And it's a brand new world, Ferry
I've go everything that you want
I've got everything
Except the single thing you really need

Set away blood and rejection
I know I see the generation staring back at me
Wasted away
Wasting my time
This picture you see
Is nothing like the one you wanted painted of me

Well, I deserve this
That's all right with me
You should know
It wouldn't be the first time
You know, it's happened a couple of times before
Man, I don't even expect much anymore
But anyway
It's not as if I were waiting for you to come and make it all okay

Separate between blood and rejection
I know I see visions of people running over me
Yeah, wasted away
Wasting my time
This picture you see
Is nothing like the one I wanted painted of me

Put on your bad self
Get out your party dress
And fix up your makeup
Try to make a good impression

i had a plan to kill angel
..i self suicide may be ..
well it's been 2 years since he try to grow inside of me
but .. I really confy ..
all of those dissapointment..
really makes me grow
...should may be i kept it ..
or release the devil back
i'm not that evil any way
but sure ..change many point of view..
'bout loyalty..
'bout love..
'bout heart..
'bout faith..
should i back and hold my tools
and become one of those fools
back again to schools
ain't it be cool..
well another house blues dreamer..
and the angel once again stood and though..
may be just another ..hit ..to make him grow..
and kindess falls like rain..

...du bi dap...
gua lagi banyak masalah..
...du bi dap...
ada pistol..ada golok..
..ada maling gua beri makan..
ada fitnah ada isue..
lalu ketika aku terbang..
banyak awan yang menghalang
banyak penipu..menggerogoti otakku
..ada kontrak..ada kepahaman...
dan berita tentang pemukul bayaran..
200 ribu per sebutir 9 mm..
membuat ku bergidik ngeri..
murahnya nyawa...
lalu aku berkata "konsekuensi ?"
..dia berpaling.."jalan itu curam.."

lalu berita tentang saudara-saudara gua
yang termakan isue
..atau mak lampir tua yang menanamkan benih istana iblisnya
...sinetron murahan di sisi persembunyian garong ..
dan ada golok yang menyelinap dipinggang malam itu
dan ada nyawa yang harus dihilangkan..
dan ..banyak dosa yang harus ku persembahkan..
...
ada ram berlistrik...
220v
..menunggu ..
make love not war...
where is my love?

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned
My friend implores me, "For one time only,
Make an exception."
I am not worried
Wrap him up in a package of lies
Send her off to a coconut island
I am not worried
I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions
"Oh," she says, "you're changing."
But we're always changing

It does not bother me to say this isn't love
Because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't love
And I guess I'm going to have to live with that
But I'm sure there's something in a shade of grey
Something in between
And I can always change my name
If that's what you mean

My friend assures me, "It's all or nothing."
But I am not really worried
I am not overly concerned
You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself
To make yourself forget
I am not worried

"If it's love," she said, "then we're going to have to
Think about the consequences."
She can't stop shaking
I can't stop touching her and

This time when kindness falls like rain
It washes her away and She begins to change her mind
"These seconds when I'm shaking leave me shuddering for days," she says
And I'm not ready for this sort of thing

But I'm not going to break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
I'm not going to bend and I'm not going to break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
It seems like I should say, "As long as this is love..."
But it's not all that easy so maybe I should
Snap her up in a butterfly net
Pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried
I've done this sort of thing before

But then I start to think about the consequences
Because I don't get no sleepin a quiet room and...

The time when kindness falls like rain
It washes me away and She begins to change my mind
And everytime I sneezes I believe it's love and
Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

She's talking in her sleep
It's keeping me awake and
She begins to toss and turn
And every word is nonsense but I understand and
Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

Her kindness bangs a gong
It's moving me along and She begins to fade away
It's chasing me away
She disappears and

Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

...sunday bloody sunday..
guns run out my eye...
9 mm ... aim right to his head..he cry...
die furball ..die ...
second of judgement..narrow mind
jungle of thought... simple juridition
those hand should never been there
not for those to be appear
..
and not one bullet out.. but he fade
..shade of eternity..
sinner never gives in
..i wish he never live..

I miss her a lot..
no more mail ..
umm why she playing with my heart ?
and here i am ..holding on

umm to me that to love is to give
allmy live...allmy time..
you want all i give all..
is it not enough ?

I want my Cigarettes...!!!
red shirt is all my worry ahead
the grey one is looking up on me
... not for my style nor my compasion...
not for me...

Citizen army trooped my environement
the itch wont dissapear my love...
scratch you pad book..make an illustration of pain
and draw our new horizon

And those rainbow start from my tears
in this mist we smoke our freedom
when you wonder bout reality...
I'm the electricity.. I'm exist ..but not visible ..yet

I'm My own self eater
Milk White , Cofee Black
Turn me up from Inside
I'm ready..I'm ready..I'm survive

Feed me with aphrodiax
Coup me in your tamed stars
Forgiveness is all I'm lacking
I'm ready ..to survive

I'm ColorBlind
Walk around these tropical heaven
Coffee Black and Milk White
I know.. I understand

..and I miss you ..down the the bottom of the river of fear and shakened me down to my nerve...
and i need you like a thousan rain need the clouds to hold up beyond the sky ..fly me away to next horizon..
and pour me down into the sea of joy and happiness
...where r u know?
are u missing me tonite ?

..and I miss you ..down the the bottom of the river of fear and shakened me down to my nerve...
and i need you like a thousan rain need the clouds to hold up beyond the sky ..fly me away to next horizon..
and pour me down into the sea of joy and happiness
...where r u know?
are u missing me tonite ?

An angel without wings can hardly fly
And love without a dream it will not survive

hari ini aku melihat kemiskinanlagi diatas bmw mimpiku
menyaksikan ratusan orang mati kelaparan ketika aku menyantap spaghetti instantku
dan seorang ibu kusam yang menyeret bayi sewaan kebalik kainnya yang lusuh demi menghindari hujan disisi jalan
tangannya liar menerima 100 juta anganku..

dan diatas tanah kusam itu seorang anak kecil mengais paket nasi McD dengan riang..
diujung jalan sana ... keluarga bahagia bermalam dibawah kardus-kardus caviar sambil menikmati bintang
silhoute .. bayangan tawa mereka disapu nyaring riang tawa kereta api...yang mengangkut ratusan orang..
berpeluh keringat .. membagi wangi tubuh dan senyum... secangkir capocino tubruk bagi orang asing yang meminta dari nenek itu
diujung gerbong..sang pencopet..merungut menunggu kereta berjalan lambat agar bisa memberi nafkah istri dan 3 orang anaknya

disisi lain kota..dua anak wanita kecil mengayun-ayunkangaunnya dan menyanyikan lagu melayu ..
sekeping kebahagiaan ku berikan lagi bagi mereka.. lagu terhenti dan mereka berlalu
seorang kakek tua terbujur kaku dibawah pohon mahoni... semut menciumi sekujur kakinya
...dimanakah anak-anaknya, akankah ia bertemu digerbang akhirat ?
pak lurah menandatangani ..surat tanah kepemilikan rumah masa depan bagi Almarhum...tempat terbaik ..river view
dan dalam 2 bulan ..banjir akan menyeret bangkainya entah kemana.. mencari anaknya lagi kah ?

seorang anak kecil mengejarku membawa jim bowie's knive
tipis suaranya meminta segenggam waktu statis dari tanganku
..rolex sidoarjo itu ku amalkan bagi dia dan puluhan orang lain yang menanti dibelakangnya ..
senyumku untuk mereka yang akan berpesta dengan chivas regal terbaru dengan logo topi miring...
oh iya..sepatu DocMarteen Cibaduyut ku dilewatkan.....

dan diatas BMW rakyat yang kutumpangi bersama 6 rekan dikanan .. 5 rekan dikiri ..dan 3 didepan.. aku mendapat berkah
... seorang bocah memberiku isi perutnya...apa yang dia sudah makan direlakannya di bagikan keseluruh penumpang..
dari wanginya..sampai ke basah nya diterima dengan sedikit kurang ikhlas... tapi aku tetap senyum..
mungkin ini mobil pertama bagi dia.. satu kendaraan baru lagi yang dia tumpangi sebelum menuju ulang aliknya nanti

..dan diantara semua orang hariini yang kutemui..yang paling bahagia adalah para babu rumah besar..
tuan mereka datang beberapa bulan sekali... nyonya mereka datang beberapa bulan sekali..
anak-anak sekolah nun jauh disebrang benua...
alangkah indah jadi babu..nasib indah bagi mereka..do'a ku bagi mereka agar lepas dari kandang emas itu..

oh iya hari ini aku memberi sebuah pulpen parker 1000 rupiah ku ke seorang anak SD ..
wajahnya yang kebingungan membuatku merelakannya.. ..
...memang .. 'jer basuki mowo beyo' .. untuk menjadi pintar membutuhkan biaya...
tapi tak kupikir sebesar itu... 1000 rupiah ku kuharap akan mengantarkannya jadi habibie.. atau jadi seorang hamka..

sore hari ditepian cihampelas.. dipojok warung rokok ..aku menonton match of the century..
permainan domino beresiko tinggi.....seratus untuk sekali lewat.. dan dua ratus bagi pemenang ...
aku kalah 2000 hari tu... dan aku mendapat sejuta senyum...
malamnya perempuan manis akan mematri pinggulnya didepan warung yang sudah tutup...
35 ribu untuk lips services.. atau 75 untuk shorttime ... murah nian harga dia..
tak sebanding dengan harga parfum YSL dari pasar baru yang dia pakai..
...ketika aku iseng ngobrol dengan dia ..dia tersenyum... dia harus menghidupi anaknya yang berusia 1,5 tahun..
..jalan hidup.. kebahagiaan dia..jalan pilihan dia.. jalan emas dia..

menjelang tengah malam... dua orang penguasa malam .. menggebuki pencuri ayam
3 detik kemudian.. seluruh dunia desa tepian jalan kota berhambur dan memberinya percikan hidup..
3 jam sebelum mereka memberinya kematian... api melalap setengah tubuhnya ..sisanya nyaris tak berbentuk... linggis..batu..
golok... kayu... kampak... bata.. batako.. besi.. kunci gembok besar.. jrigen kosong.. tergeletak disamping jenazahnya..
..harga yang pantas untuk seekor ayam bangkok .... 150 ribu untuk seonggok nyawa...
nyawa seorang anak yang di KTP berusia 21 tahun... milik seorang ibu tua pemilik kios bawang di ciroyom
dan adiknya yang masih kelas 2 SMA.. satu lagi bukti mahalnya biaya pendidikan...
mudah-mudahan sang adik bakal menjadi Bismar Siregar SH...

hmm diatas pedati BMW ..jam 2 malam..aku piulang untuk tidur..
mudah-mudahan mimpi beberapa orang tentang kemakmuran bakal ada besok..
atau mungkin setidaknya ... kemiskinan tak kan kulihat lagi..
lalu aku tersentak... itu jalan hidup... kebahagiaan dan usaha..
..dan aku membalikan tubuhku diatas kasur itu ... merasakan melilitnya perutku yang lapar..
habis sudah seratus juta rupiah mimpiku hari ini...

knapa kamu nggak ngehargai aku ?
...apakah rasa bosan kamu mengalahkan rasa cinta kamu?
:~( .. aku sedih..sungguh sedih ...
knapa kamu permainkan aku ?
you want it straight kan... aku nggak nyindir kamu kan kali ini?
aku sakit hati ni..... kamu dulu pernah janji nggak bakal bikin aku sakit hati
aku bener2 merasa nggak dihargai...

uhuk uhuk .... Gee I found the trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!
All computer will be better...
COme to papa ... no damage will occurs...
the master arrive !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thought I might get a rocket ride
When I was a child but it was a lie
That I told myself when I needed something good
At seventeen, had a better dream.
Now I'm twenty-three and it isn't me
But I'd think of something better if I could

Caught some grief from a falling leaf
As she tumbled down to the dirty ground
Said I should have put her back there if I could
But everyone needs a better day
And I'm trying to find me a better way
To get from the things I do to the things I should

All my friends and lovers leave me alone
To try to have a little fun
One way or another I just wish I had known
To go out walking in the sun
And find out if you were the one

Does it make you wanna come a little closer now?
And did you wanna dance with me?
Did you wanna hum a little harder now?
Can you see me waiting there?
Can you see me? Because I'm almost there
Can you see me waiting there for someone like you?

I don't want a beauty queen
Not a superstar ,not everybody's dream machine
All I want is a place to lay your head
You go to sleep dreaming how you would
Be a different kind if you thought you could
But you come awake the way you are instead

All my friends and lovers shine like the sun
I just turn and walk away
One way or another
I'm not coming undone
I'm just waiting for the day

ada apa ?? ..knapa jadi begini ??

kepada siapa lagi aku harus menangis ?
aku sungguh harus menangis..
hahaha ..tapi laki-laki tidak menangis
bohong, dengan apa yang ada diaku sekarang semua akan menangis

dia tak ingin tahu

dan itu takkan buat aku bersedih lagi
aku sudah menerbangkan sayap-sayap cinta ini setinggi awan
dan selama aku berpegang padanya akan terus meninggi
itulah makna kedewasaan ..
untuk berpegang kepada yang aku yakini

lalu apa bila nanti aku jatuh..
atau mulai terbang tinggi sendiri
mungkin aku harus menjatuhkan diri..
mungkin akan hancur..
dan butuh sejuta tahun untuk memperbaikinya lagi

mungkin kamu benar..aku menaruh harapan terlalu tinggi
sebenarnya bukan harapan..tapi mimpi
hmm .. dengan mimpi aku berusaha untuk jadi terbaik
dan jika kamu mulai bosan dengan itu ... aku tak tahu lagi apa makna cinta
yang jelas cinta itu pengorbanan...
dan aku mengorbankan 5000 uang terakhirku untuk disini ..dari pada untuk makan..
hahahaha .. lalu aku menangis

not even a quit msg ...

secangkir kopi manis diujung meja
sebatang rokok kretek tersenyum manja
..ah mereka sahabat sejati ku selalu..
humm aku kangen motor ku
.. akan kah kita berlari lagi disaat seperti ini ?
sayang masa gila itu sudah lewat..atau harus kembali lagi ?

gitar dirumah ku sudah mulai fals dan banyak senar yang mati
dan suara ku tak lagi menusuk hati
lalu kertas-kertas kosong yang dulu tak pernah berhenti ku coret..
sekarang tinggal menjadi kertas kosong diatas meja
dan dinding kamar yang selalu menjadi kanvas..
merindukan belaian tanganku ..

sudah lama aku mengacuhkan cinta mereka

dan jika ada waktu aku mulai ditinggalkan dan dilupakan..
aku mulai berpaling lagi
aku bukan manusia sempurna..
hanya ingin hidup seperti kamu
hmm gitar ku ..kembalilah kepelukanku ..aku tau kamu tak pernah pergi
motor ku ..bawa lah lagi aku berlari ..aku tahu kamu tak pernah lelah
kertas-kertas ku ..bawa aku terbang dalam impian..aku tau kamu tak pernah bosan
temboku... bawa aku dalam kegilaan lagi.. aku tau kamu tak pernah jenuh melindungi
..maafkan aku yang larut dalam cinta..

..hiks.. no mail ..

i thought i was special ..
i wish i was special..
guess she didn't miss me
c'est la vie

i miss my nini

hari ini aku berjalan puluhan kilo memakan debu
ada anak kecil yang tertawa
dan ada pemuda yang menangis
di setiap jengkalnya ada cerita
disudut pertama ... pengembara menanyakanku tentang jalan ..
aku menuntunnya menuju jalan hidup... mungkin tidak begitu jelas..namun cukup jauh
keringatnya bercerita mengenai ratusan langkah yang terbuang
dan airmatanya menceritakan tentang hilangnya apa yang dia sebut kebahagiaan
dan ketika dia beringsut ..dia melambaikan tangan.. selamat tinggal pengembara.. kebahagiaan mu tidak pernah menjauh

disudut kedua ... wanita dengan sejuta senyum menegurku
membalikan badan dan bergoyang ..
kesadaranku berontak untuk lupa sejenak
namun aku tak bisa lupa
ketika dia mendefinisikan kebahagiaan .. aku ceritakan nasib sang pengembara
dan wangi tubuhnya mengakui kebenaran itu
dan merah bibirnya menyingkirkan senyum palsu
lalu dia beringsut menuju kebahagiaannya yang hilang

di sudut ketiga.. aku menemukan ribuan orang mendesak maju
aku lari mengejar gerombolan mereka yang tak pernah berhenti..
keringat..darah..air mata..dan teriakan2.. itu semua yang tertuju kearahku ketika aku mencoba berhenti
"sedang apa-sedang apa?" aku menarik satu orang bertopi biru
"...aku harus lari-aku harus lari.." ..teriaknya.."jangan berhenti nanti tertinggal"
aku terus ikut berlari.. aku tak tahu mengapa tapi harus berlari
lalu muncul ketakutan2 untuk tertinggal
..aku harus segera sampai.. aku harus berlari ..
dan ketika aku jatuh aku terinjak orang lain..dan ketika aku berlari aku menginjak orang lain
"aku harus berlari-aku harus berlari"
10-11 kilo terus berlari.. banyak yang mati terinjak..banyak yang menangis kecapaian..
di persimpangan ketiga aku bertemu dengan pengembara tadi yang berjalan dengan senyum..
dilariku aku mencoba mengajaknya berlari
dia hanya berteriak "untuk apa berlari..aku telah menemukan kebahagiaanku.."
lari ku sedikit menjadi pelan...dan mulai berfikir..
tepukan dibelakang dan sikutan dari kiriku mengajaku untuk tidak berfikir dan terus berlari
..ya terus..terus.. secepat mungkin... jangan sampai kita tertinggal.. itu saja yang terdengar dari desis nafas mereka yang bau
di persimpangan selanjutnya aku bertemu wanita cantik tadi.. dia berjalan dengan senyum..
"ayo berlari !" teriak ku..
"aku sudah menemukan kebahagiaanku.." dia berteriak dan mendadahi ku
aku berhenti tiba2 dan puluhan orang langsung menabrak dan menginjak-injak
aku merangkak kesamping..dengan luka-luka
aku duduk terdiam.. "mengapa aku berlari..??"
dan semua orang yang kutanya tak aad yang tahu jawabannya..
semua hanya takut tertinggal..
aku tertunduk dalam kebodohan..
mereka mencari kebahagiaan..dan takut kebahagiaan itu meninggalkan
..aku tersenyum tipis mengelus2 debu di hatiku
Ya Tuhan ..aku sudah tertipu jaman ...
kebahagiaan itu tak pernah ada didepan..
tapi di hati..
lalu aku terguncang tertawa..
dan mel;angkahkan kaki kecil ku dalam kebahagiaan..
"ini yang kucari.... berjalan dalam kedamaian"

dan aku melangkah didalam pergerakan kota kecil yang padat ini
jutaan orang masih berlari terus..
banyak pula yang terdiam menyerah dan menangis..
aku melihatnya dengan senyum..dan terus melangkah tanpa lelah
aku pasti sampai ke rumah .. hatiku merangkulku..
dan debu itu mulai tertiup angin malam ..dan matahari mengiringi ratusan langkah pelari..
pengembara dan wanita itu tersenyum padaku .. "kalian adalah cahaya kota ini"

disela-sela lorong waktu angin berteriak..
"berhenti"
debu..batu dan bumi terabaikan

dipeluknya ratusan kesadaran
satu persatu mematikan cahaya matanya
dan tidur

ada sedikit luka kecil di dahinya
dan secercah balutan di hati kecilnya
"perbaikilah"

duduk disamping pohon dia berhenti membelai
jiwa-jiwa itu dibiarkan mencari jalan
..ah waktuku untuk menuntun dalam doa

hei...kamu bosan...!! tegur rumput
hei kamu bingung ..!! tegur ilalang
angin mengendus kencang lalu berlalu..


mari berputar..aku ingin mati ...
dan kematianku adalah kematian alam
.kematian ratusan kesadaran
dan hujan menyapuku menjauh ratusan kilo menuju dunia baru

well let see what i've done ..
being such a small boy again i suppose
..be pathetic of yopur self you must
...be sad for your self you should
o'boy.. rearrange your live.. rearrange your need..
you don't even put words together nicely lately
be laugh o' boy ... you had love too much
and yet too much you felt not enough

..is it wrong if i need a bit of attension ?

ah..swallow your tongue.. o'boy grow up
you had no live.. be back to your old life.. when no one and no body bothers you
when you shouldn't have to shared your tears
o'boy .. long life you're in those misery.. it's your path..

am i special ?..i mean i want to be special for someone..

o'boy.. you're nothing but a sand in the beach
the ocean will wash you out.. you'll be forgotten... you will
have you ready to be forgotten ?
that's just a time logical game
..to be here and to be forgotten at the end..
have experience teach you well ?

i don't want to be in doubt..

o'boy do you have a nerve to stand ?

i have... i have decide to love ..

o boy ..maybe i should took you back 3-4 years back.. no love fits you
you're born alone.. die alone..at the end everybody leave you.. do you dare?

if to love is to let her go.. i will love her forever.. until time kill the memories

o'boy you're not near perfect.. you're mad when she not making you special.. how shall you stand..??

i'll stand ..perhaps.. if she walk beside me..

o'boy ..then you must start to mean.. she could be leaving you soon

so what ?? i don't care.. all i know is trying my best.. it's not about her..you..or anybody else..it's about me
yup.. i must stand..
and one thing.. she loves me.. that's all the matters

o'boy hugs me ..

i wanna be with you
is it not fun anymore being with me?
is it ..wasted time for acompany me?
what about those things you've said?

dan malam ini aku menundukan kepala
tidak menangis, tidak tersenyum..
serpihan sayap melepuh...
berada disampingku tidak lagi menyenangkan
kenapa aku harus jadi manusia maya?padahal aku nyata

i'm in the slow motion
watching my self collapse
watching my world come trumbling down
watching my body fallen apart

i'm not lame
and not to blame
so try to takea shoot at me
i'm not inocent as you see
..come on do it and do it again

who is in the house ?
brother and mother first ..
who is in the house ?
me ..watching self destruct
who that boy again ?
is not the same as the one who speak loud
who is in the house ?
woman and children first ...out of the bunker
it was set on fire..
and to automaticly collapse in 30 minutes
..who is in the house?
the soul...the fire that burned you?
ah what a things i've done...
who's watching you ?.. mild eye..
sickness... around i'll be damn over the cursed hill
who is in the house.. brother and mother first...

umm .. he's not the only thing on her mind
well it clearly acceptable...
does it mean he's not her everything ?
man.. you're so naif and egosentric.. who do you think are u ?
a light ?a day? a sun? a stone wall?man you're an ugly gargoyle

umm.. he's not on her proud
well it was none to speak off
does it mean he's not to be lifted ?
man.. you're so pathethicly stupid... who the hell are you ?
the light? the day? the sun? the stone wall? man..you're the rabbit in the spotlite

he's not the one she was recently been thinking of
well actualy a man must stand in the one line.. where he's standing now?
does it mean he's not in front row?
man.. don't be so childish.. she's your and yours only.. didn't you trust in it?
trust? believe? falsification?rigtheous?... a timelline to eternitily doubt

she's running in the rain.. man, what should you do?
the rain is thick.. the water is mild.. the wind is fast..and the weather so cold
..ah man, love not to feel .. love not to act... love is not to possesed..love is to give
does it mean he must easily walk?
man.. love is to give... but if one receive.. not you nor else to leave away
from the consequence, the joy, the pain, the tears, the happynes, the smille..the giggles.. the moment of loneliness

man.., does he on her mind right now?
does he is the ine she's been thinking of...?
man,.. you've gottobe have no doubt in that.. she's yours trully..and else are just fake mirror
and when you feel descended.. grab your cigars and start thinking..that you're too worthed to walk away
and man.. you know it..you know you deeply fallen for her..
you see her in your sleep, your wake, your eye, your lips, your day, your night

man.. why he felt so worry...
cause he's affraid of losing her..
what a synergifity of love and posession...

aku mau bobo...
aku kangen nini
aku mau gila
aku mau cinta
kamu jangan pergi
aku akan lama

hari ini menu itu menawarkan aku makan
kokinya menjajakan kembang ditaman
pelayannya api di lautan
dan aku ditengah kedamaian
ketika harus memilih apa
ada cinta tersaji
ada rindu diberi saus
ada kenyataan di bumbui rasa
ada kepedihan
dan ada airmata
aku memesan semangkuk hidup
untuk ku santap hari ini
harganya tak seberapa
dan kokinya menuai kedamaian..

i'm alive... i miss U
i'm alive i'm adore u
...gee i'm in love
i'm feeling like someone in love

i was wasted in the afternoon
waiting on a rain
i woke up in pieces and hopely she hasn't disappeared again
i wish you were inside of me
i hope that you're ok
i hope you're resting quietly
i just wanted to say good goodnight
the moon the star are falling down

I wanna be the light that burns out your eyes
`cause I know there's little things about me
that would sing in the silence of so much rejection
in every connection I make
I can't find nobody home
I wanna be the last thing you hear when you're falling asleep....

Lookin' at a green sky
Sun like a red eye
Bright blue horses are the fortune he lives by
he's tired and lonely
Scared and depressed
His visions of one day go racing the next

Every night these silhouettes appear above my head
Little angels of the silences that climb into my bed and whisper,,
Every time I fall asleep
Every time I dream
Did you come?
Would you lie?
Will you leave me 'till I'm only good for...Waiting for you
All my sins...I said that I would pay for them if I could really come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming

I dream of Michelangelo when I'm lying in my bed
Little angels hang above my head and read me like an open book
Suck my blood
break my nerve
offer me their arms
Well, I will not be an enemy of anything
I'll only stand here...

kamu adalah matahari
kamu adalah bulan
bulan dan kayu
kotak dan batu
disongsong pagi...dimakan api
disinari susu sang ibu

kamu adalah waktu
waktu dan aku
terbirit-birit dikejar batu
batu dan waktu
dihinggapi pagi..di jendela kamar
oh.. matahari ku sudah muncul lagi
aku harus tidur

kamu adalah angin
angin dan debu
debu dan rumput
menari ditelan bising
mencari bukan untuk dihindari
menatap bukan mata
bekerjalah di senja ini
..kamu adalah buaian ku
bukan batu atau bukan kayu..

will you catch me if i'm falling?
will you catch me cause i'm falling down.. round here..

i'm innocent.. i'm under the gun.. round here...i cant see nothing...

it's only in my head...
stttt.. i know..it's only in my head ...

but the man in the parking lot say.. man you should try to take a shoot
..but can you see my wall are crumbling..
as he look upon the window ..and he's thinking of jumping
he's tired of life...but every one's tired of something...

bete dah nulis puisi panjang error.. huh !..
no more write of the day.. (i hope..i hate my brain when it wont rest !!!)

I am enslaved to fate
Other than fate say not a thing
Honey is sweet, tastes great
Other than great say not a thing

Of pain speak nothing
If joy not bring, say not a thing
If for you this has no ring
Joyously sing, say not a thing

I had once gone insane
Love whispered when saw my pain,
"I’ve come and will remain
Madness refrain, say not a thing."

I said "O Love, I fear
The things other than Thee here"
Said "though may thus appear
To me is clear, say not a thing

"I’ll whisper in your ear
Secrets to you bring near
Nod your head and hold dear
Silently hear, say not a thing"

"The face I see so well
Angel or man? Pray do tell"
Said "this is other than angel
Nor with man dwell, say not a thing"

"Pray tell, what do I see
Else all my senses will flee"
"From senses remain free
And just be, say not a thing

"You reside in this abode
Where color & falsehood explode;
Rise up, take up the road
Pick up your load, say not a thing

--divan E sham--

My beloved came to my side
Revived the place where I reside
I said tonight you are my fellow
My temptress, my joy implied.
Said, work of some import, dear
I have now identified.
I swear to God, if you depart
I will not last, with you denied.
At least for a night, show some mercy
For the misery I cannot hide;
Bestow your eyes’ mercy upon
The tearful waves my eyes have cried.
Said, fate has shed many man’s blood
I am powerless, though I’ve tried.
Like Mars, there is naught but blood
Even the stars to me confide.
No incense will reach the Gods
Till its aroma spreads wide;
Since you demand no less than life
Eating blood, I will abide.
You are the shrub, and I, your shade
I, sacrifice, and you my bride.
Said, sacrifice worthy of mine
Is a rarity, not all who died;
Only the likes of Isaac can
Towards my gate in death glide.
I am Love and demand your blood
Resurrect your soul when I decide
Angel of death do not oppose
I’ll be glad to have you beside.
Hark, your heartbeat stops in my hand
Hark, my dagger will not be defied.
Having said this, as the morning breeze
Like flowing waters depart and divide.
You are my Isaac, I your father
I’ll be by your side, with care and pride.
I said, favor me O Master
Go slowly, by my side ride;
Said, behold this world in my sight
Limping along with one leg tied.
Say no more now, till another time
Or I’ll fall for love so magnified.
Be still, and be extinguished
Else your fire spreads untried.

-rumi-

don't drunk I'm too much in love with you to let you do that ...

obat batuk itu menghiburku
menertawakanku saat ku terbatuk
atau saat kuhisap asap
dan saat aku mengeluh kesah
hangatnya memberikan aku hidup
kesegaran untuk trus melakukan kesalahan
dan obat batuk itu tak pernah mengeluh
saat kutegak habis atau saat kutinggalkan
...sebuah esensi pengorbanan sejati
..andai aku bisa batuk 1000 tahun
maka obat batuk itu akan ada disisiku 1000 tahun
menertawakan setiap kekehku selalu
dan aku butuh tawa itu agar aku tak mati percuma

ini tegukan terakhir hari ini
masih akan ada obat batuk untuk esok..dan esoknya lagi
terimakasih Tuhan telah berikan aku batuk
setidaknya aku tau.. aku masih butuh kasih sayang obat batuk

...di tiap kata yang terucap
adalah tersimpan titian mutiara hati
yang menerangi wajahku
memberiku nama dan kenyataan

and there shall be air inside your lungs
coming in and out .. taking your time